This Thanksgiving has been life changing. Really! It has!
I flew into Louisville, KY on the 20th to spend Thanksgiving with Patrick, who came back from Costa Rica, and his family for Thanksgiving. Its been wonderful! They're the most kind, friendly, easy going, caring, funny, loving people. They are so close knit, and its wonderful to be around them! We ate, talked, ate, shopped, talked, ate, cooked, gave out Animal Christmas Poopers (yeah, they really poop, well...candy), ate, talked, ate, ate, ate...There is no pattern, just a lot of eating and talking primarily! Anywho, because Patrick was back, we finally go to talk in person...
So I've got a lot on my mind!
Number One: Talk to Mom and Dad.
Number Two: Go Christmas shopping.
Number Three: Go through all my things at home.
Number Four: Rent a trailer.
Number Five: Go through all my things in Ocean City.
Number Six: Go Christmas shopping.
Number Seven: Quit my job...its sad to say!
Number Eight: Learn a new language.
Number Nine: Find a new job.
Number Ten: Go Christmas shopping.
Number Eleven: Spend Christmas with my family.
Number Twelve: Spend New Years with friends and family.
Number Thirteen: Pack...
NUMBER FOURTEEN: MOVE TO COSTA RICA, JANUARY 4TH!
This Thanksgiving was life changing because I've decided that other than family, Patrick is most important to me, and...thats it. Everything else will fall into place!
You know what I've learned about "Everything falling into place!"...its crazy, but it does. Things just have a way of working out if they're supposed to! Have a lot of faith, a little patience, some time, and things will work out. Its an amazing thing!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Breathe.....
Its amazing how good something feels, and how much more its appreciated, when you haven't done it in a while. I finally ran! Its been about 4 days, which is a while for me. Before I go on, read the following extremely slowly, breathing in when it says "in", and out when it says "out.", do this in the most calm voice possible:
Iiiiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut...
Don't you feel relaxed?! This is what I say while I'm running. I hope you can see why I am so in love with it?!
Today I went numb, I didn't feel anything except the cool air and my feet against the pavement, I couldn't hear anything except my breathing and my mind going iiiiin, ooouuuut! I love running! I can concentrate on my breathing and forget about the fact that my best friend moved away, that I have a terrible self image today, that the client yelled at me, that tomorrow is going to be busy! Its not even that most of these things go somewhere in the back of my mind, they actually disappear! And the thoughts that don't disappear, I look at them in a different light. So my best friend moved away, but I will see him soon, and that makes me so happy! So tomorrow is a busy day, but its going to be productive, it will go quickly! And my self image, well, its good right now, I feel good!
When I'm breathing, and in my mind I'm saying, "iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut," its the only thing that can occupy my mind, nothing else can! I forget about how something so simple, can bring me so much peace and serenity! Its amazing!
Iiiiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut...
Don't you feel relaxed?! This is what I say while I'm running. I hope you can see why I am so in love with it?!
Today I went numb, I didn't feel anything except the cool air and my feet against the pavement, I couldn't hear anything except my breathing and my mind going iiiiin, ooouuuut! I love running! I can concentrate on my breathing and forget about the fact that my best friend moved away, that I have a terrible self image today, that the client yelled at me, that tomorrow is going to be busy! Its not even that most of these things go somewhere in the back of my mind, they actually disappear! And the thoughts that don't disappear, I look at them in a different light. So my best friend moved away, but I will see him soon, and that makes me so happy! So tomorrow is a busy day, but its going to be productive, it will go quickly! And my self image, well, its good right now, I feel good!
When I'm breathing, and in my mind I'm saying, "iiiiin, ooouuuut, iiiiin, ooouuuut," its the only thing that can occupy my mind, nothing else can! I forget about how something so simple, can bring me so much peace and serenity! Its amazing!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Whats Important?!
Bare with me...
...but life to me is like a big piece of wood! I find that through experiences good or bad, one can widdle away at the wood to create something absolutely gorgeous that may not bring peace and pleasure to anyone else, but it might to me. This process, unfortunately, takes so much time, but I think its important. Money is not important, cars are not important, clothes aren't important; Friends are important, true love is important, love of nature, peace is important. Finding friends that support you, finding something that gives you peace, finding someone that loves you unconditionally, and finding somewhere you can spend all your time with the something and the someone everyday of your life...that is important! Nothing else!
I met a guy in college and moved up to Philly to be closer to him. So the love was there, but not the peace. I taught there for two years, I realized that my life goal was not to be a "bitch or a ho" as the kids liked to call me. I wanted and want more for myself. I moved to Ocean City, where I came to realize that almost everything I want is right there, SURFING, a few, but AMAZING and CLOSE friends, except one thing, guess?! I thought I needed more money, instead of working harder I moved back to Clear Spring and began working for a company, which I love, although again I still feel like I'm searching. At this point, I have the friends, a lot of them, which I have never had before. However, I don't have the peace, or the love. And do you know whats funny and ironic I had my friend, my love, and my peace all along in Philadelphia. I didn't see it! So here I am, searching again...
...for something that gives me peace, someone that loves me unconditionally, and somewhere I can spend all my time with that something and that someone everyday of my life...
...but life to me is like a big piece of wood! I find that through experiences good or bad, one can widdle away at the wood to create something absolutely gorgeous that may not bring peace and pleasure to anyone else, but it might to me. This process, unfortunately, takes so much time, but I think its important. Money is not important, cars are not important, clothes aren't important; Friends are important, true love is important, love of nature, peace is important. Finding friends that support you, finding something that gives you peace, finding someone that loves you unconditionally, and finding somewhere you can spend all your time with the something and the someone everyday of your life...that is important! Nothing else!
I met a guy in college and moved up to Philly to be closer to him. So the love was there, but not the peace. I taught there for two years, I realized that my life goal was not to be a "bitch or a ho" as the kids liked to call me. I wanted and want more for myself. I moved to Ocean City, where I came to realize that almost everything I want is right there, SURFING, a few, but AMAZING and CLOSE friends, except one thing, guess?! I thought I needed more money, instead of working harder I moved back to Clear Spring and began working for a company, which I love, although again I still feel like I'm searching. At this point, I have the friends, a lot of them, which I have never had before. However, I don't have the peace, or the love. And do you know whats funny and ironic I had my friend, my love, and my peace all along in Philadelphia. I didn't see it! So here I am, searching again...
...for something that gives me peace, someone that loves me unconditionally, and somewhere I can spend all my time with that something and that someone everyday of my life...
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